25 Ways to Provoke Our Children to Anger

by Paul Tautges | July 21, 2011 2:36 am

How much of the anger in my home is caused by me? That’s a painful question. As parents, fathers in particular, we must heed God’s Word from Ephesians 6:4. Of course, this is not to say that all of our children’s anger is caused by us! Each of our children is personally responsible for his or her own sin. However, this warning from God is here for a reason. One of the ways our sinful flesh rears its ugly head is by provoking others to anger. And the easiest place to do that is in our own home.

What are the most common ways we do this? Here’s a helpful list from Lou Priolo.

  1. Lack of marital harmony
  2. Establishing and maintaining a child-centered home
  3. Modeling sinful anger
  4. Habitually disciplining in anger
  5. Scolding
  6. Being inconsistent with discipline
  7. Having double standards
  8. Being legalistic
  9. Not admitting you’re wrong and not asking for forgiveness
  10. Constantly finding fault
  11. Parents reversing God-given roles
  12. Not listening to your child’s opinion or taking his or her ‘side of the story’ seriously
  13. Comparing them to others
  14. Not making time ‘just to talk’
  15. Not praising or encouraging your child
  16. Failing to keep your promises
  17. Chastening in front of others
  18. Not allowing enough freedom
  19. Allowing too much freedom
  20. Mocking your child
  21. Abusing them physically
  22. Ridiculing or name calling
  23. Unrealistic expectations
  24. Practicing favoritism
  25. Child training with worldly methodologies inconsistent with God’s Word
This list is from one of my Top 10 Recommended Counseling Resources and a great parenting book: The Heart of Anger[1] by biblical counselor, Lou Priolo.
*Note Lou Priolo is an author, speaker, and biblical counselor at Eastwood Presbyterian Church in Montgomery, AL.  If you would like to read Lou’s writing, visit him at this link:  www.loupriolobiblicalcounseling.com[2]
Two related parenting resources: HELP! My Toddler Rules the House[3] and HELP! My Teen Is Rebellious[4]
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Endnotes:
  1. The Heart of Anger: http://www.cvbbs.com/inventory.php?target=indiv&search_back=keywords%3Dheart+of+anger%26searchstyle%3Dall%26page%3D1%26title_keyword%3D%26isbn_keyword%3D%26publisher_keyword%3D%26author_keyword%3D%26sort_by%3D&bookid=5068
  2. www.loupriolobiblicalcounseling.com: http://www.loupriolobiblicalcounseling.com
  3. HELP! My Toddler Rules the House: http://www.amazon.com/Toddler-Rules-House-Living-Fallen/dp/1846252210/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1378134539&sr=1-1&keywords=help+toddler+rules+house
  4. HELP! My Teen Is Rebellious: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=help%20teen%20rebellious
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