Counseling One Another

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Counseling One Another

The Dirty Dozen of Unbiblical Parenting

*This is the fourth, and final, post from Counsel with Confidence by Joel James.

In family counseling, you will encounter many unbiblical approaches to parenting. Some common ones to keep your eyes open for are listed below.

  1. Permissiveness. Parents who follow this strategy never tell their children No, Stop, or Don’t do that.
  2. Antagonist. Every conversation with their children turns into a battle. By the teen years, the battle usually goes nuclear.
  3. Positivist. Everything is directed toward building the child’s self-esteem. As a result, the child is entertained or coddled out of sinful behaviors and attitudes, rather than disciplined out of them.
  4. Behaviorist. External politeness, success, and conformity to social standards are good enough; there is no concern for the heart.
  5. Distracted parenting. A total lack of strategy due to parental busyness.
  6. Delegation. The parents believe that it is the responsibility of the church, the day care, or the school to raise their children.
  7. Pharmaceutical parenting. Medication replaces discipline.
  8. Quality time. The parents try to bribe their kids with a few fun outings amidst general neglect.
  9. Activity-driven parenting. The child is compelled to enter every club, concert, and contest available.
  10. Emergency parenting. The parents take action only when things get really bad, but then their efforts diminish again as soon as the crisis dies down.
  11. Decibel discipline. The child thinks: I don’t have to obey; Mommy isn’t using her angry voice yet.
  12. Throw up your hands in despair. The child runs the home due to parental exhaustion. The war is over; the child has won; and a three-foot-tall army of occupation runs the home.

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