25 Ways to Provoke Your Children to Anger

by Paul Tautges | December 4, 2023 1:56 am

How much of the anger in my home is caused by me? That’s a painful question. As parents, fathers in particular, we must heed God’s Word from Ephesians 6:4. Of course, this is not to say that all of our children’s anger is caused by us! Each of our children is personally responsible for his or her own sin. However, this warning from God is here for a reason. One of the ways our sinful flesh manifests itself is by provoking others to anger. And the easiest place to do that is in our own home.

What are the most common ways we do this? Here’s a helpful list from Lou Priolo, a faithful pastor and counselor who recently went home to be with the Lord.

  1. Lack of marital harmony
  2. Establishing and maintaining a child-centered home
  3. Modeling sinful anger
  4. Habitually disciplining in anger
  5. Scolding
  6. Being inconsistent with discipline
  7. Having double standards
  8. Being legalistic
  9. Not admitting you’re wrong and not asking for forgiveness
  10. Constantly finding fault
  11. Parents reversing God-given roles
  12. Not listening to your child’s opinion or taking his or her ‘side of the story’ seriously
  13. Comparing them to others
  14. Not making time ‘just to talk’
  15. Not praising or encouraging your child
  16. Failing to keep your promises
  17. Chastening in front of others
  18. Not allowing enough freedom
  19. Allowing too much freedom
  20. Mocking your child
  21. Abusing them physically
  22. Ridiculing or name calling
  23. Unrealistic expectations
  24. Practicing favoritism
  25. Child training with worldly methodologies inconsistent with God’s Word

This list is from one of my favorite parenting books, The Heart of Anger[1] by Lou Priolo.

*Note: This article was originally published on November 8, 2012. I am re-posting it in honor of Lou Priolo, who went home to his Savior and Lord on November 28, 2023. He was an author, speaker, and biblical counselor.

Endnotes:
  1. The Heart of Anger: https://www.biblicalcounselingbooks.com/products/the-heart-of-anger-practical-help-for-the-prevention-and-cure-of-anger-in-chldren?_pos=1&_sid=3e5926132&_ss=r

Source URL: https://counselingoneanother.com/2023/12/04/rerun-25-ways-to-provoke-our-children-to-anger/