One of the highlights of Desiring God’s recent conference, God’s Good Design in Disability, was the 10-minute testimony of Krista Horning. From her life’s painful and shameful experiences with multiple disabilities flows a beauty and grace that can only be explained by the mercy and wisdom of God revealed in the gospel.
Krista began her testimony with these words: “People ask me how I live with disability. How do I live with disability? …For me, disability is the deep hurt and shame that says I am not accepted. Disability says ugly things to me. It tells me I am alone. I am different. I am worthless. I am weak. It tells me my life is hopeless. Disability lies to me and sometimes it is easy to listen and believe. Sometimes I don’t want to live with disability. Sometimes I don’t want to be who God made me to be. [But] God tells me the truth. So I keep listening to Him. He opens the eyes of my heart and I believe. I trust Him and His words. God says beautiful things to me. Listen.”
- God tells me He is in control of everything in the world, including my disability, all of our disabilities (Exodus 4:11).
- God tells me I am not alone (Isaiah 43:1-3).
- God tells me He will always help me (Psalm 121:1-8).
- God tells me He has called me for His purpose (Romans 8:28).
- God tells me that nothing in this world is greater than knowing Him (Philippians 3:8-10).
- God tells me He is more interested in my heart than my outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7).
- God tells me He gave His only Son for my sins (Isaiah 53:4-5).
- God tells me He has a special plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11).
- God tells me He is changing me to be more like Him (2 Corinthians 3:18).
- God tells me nothing can separate me from His love (Romans 8:38-39).
- God tells me His grace is enough (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
- God tells me I have hope (Romans 5:3-5, 8).
- God tells me He is good (Psalm 34:1-5, 8).
- God tells me this life with disability is short, but I will spend forever with Him (2 Corinthians 4:7-10, 16-18).
Krista’s testimony then closes with these powerful words:
For now I live with disability.
Disability still says ugly things to me.
Disability is a part of this broken sin-filled world.
But God has so many beautiful things to say.
And so I’m filled with hope.
God’s words grow louder and louder in my life.
The glory of his grace and mercy grow stronger and stronger.
I need to listen to his words.
I want to listen to his words.
God’s words change everything.
God’s beautiful words have changed my life.
And that is how I live with disability.