Counseling One Another

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Counseling One Another

Some Thoughts on Mental Suffering

Last night, a couple brothers and I were discussing the power of empathy when ministering to those who are mentally troubled, that is, the loving ministry of listening to one another and entering each other’s story with genuine compassion. When I awoke, this morning, I immediately sensed the Spirit drawing me back into a passage of Scripture that He opened up for me in the recent past—near the end of a long battle with depression, an acute form of mental suffering. Let me pass on some thoughts to you again, as a rerun post. Thanks for bearing with me.

God comforts us in all our afflictions (2 Cor 1:3-8). This is a truth for all believers, for all time. However, the life context from which the apostle originally wrote these timeless words is the suffering of a faithful—though very flawed—minister of the gospel. In other words, it was from the crucible of suffering that Paul wrote such a comforting promise of God’s never-ending love and care. Understanding that he lived in the center of an intense spiritual war (Satan hates with a passion all believers, all who preach the gospel), may help us better understand how desperately he and his companions needed hope and help—needs that every believer has at certain times in his life.

While meditating on 2 Corinthians 1:8-11, I found myself asking two questions: What does the apostle mean when he says of his companions and himself, “we despaired even of life?” (v. 8) And what does Paul mean by saying “we had the sentence of death within ourselves?” Before we attempt to answer those questions, read the full passage.

For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead; 10 who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us, 11 you also joining in helping us through your prayers, so that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the favor bestowed on us through the prayers of many. (2 Cor 1:8-11)

What Does It Mean to Despair Even of Life?

In verse 8, the apostle speaks of afflictions, which led to being “burdened excessively, beyond [their] strength.” These unbearable burdens led these men to a state of deep despair and, consequently, the need for divine deliverance. Of these afflictions, Kistemaker writes,

“It is not unthinkable that Paul had been dragged into various local synagogues to stand trial before Jewish courts. The punishments he received were the prescribed thirty-nine lashes. He reveals, ‘Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one’ (11:24). These floggings could be perilous when administered harshly, especially if they were repeated in close succession. In addition, Roman authorities three times beat Paul with rods (11:25)….The fierce opposition that Paul had to endure from Jewish adversaries continued to be a persistent threat to his life….The danger Paul incurred was so great that he describes it as an extremely heavy load that he was unable to bear physically. More than that, spiritually he lacked the necessary strength and entered into a state of despair (contrast 4:8). He expected the end of his earthly life unless God himself intervened and, as it were, brought him back from the dead.”

To “despair even of life” means, therefore, to be so utterly burdened and without strength so as to succumb to affliction (the source of which does not matter, ultimately) to the place of accepting death as the only possible outcome. To be in despair means to be without a way out; that is, to be so mentally and emotionally without any hope of help in sight that a form of death seems inevitable.

Though it seems some of the afflictions the apostle refers to here come from outside, many times you can’t put a finger on the cause of mental suffering. Despair, a crippling level of discouragement, is more common than we may admit. Biblical characters who experienced deep discouragement and life-crippling despair include David, Hannah, Elijah, and Paul. And before one concludes that all sorrow-to-the-point-of-death is itself a sin; or is only, ever, always caused by sin should remember that Jesus experienced sorrow to the point of death (Matt. 26:38). His experience alone should slow down the zealous wheels of our mental judgment. Some well-known, post-biblical ministers of the gospel also experienced deep despair; Charles Spurgeon, Martyn-Lloyd Jones, and David Brainerd are just a few. We must accept that there are some parts of our fallenness that we will never understand. Only the God of providence knows fully what He seeks to accomplish for his glory through our suffering, some of which is mental.

What Is the Purpose of the Sentence of Death?

The mental burden the apostle suffered was so heavy that he actually felt as though he was dying. But this weight of mental suffering was not without purpose. The overwhelming sense of impending death was “to make us rely not on ourselves but on God” (v. 9). There it is! God, in his grace, orchestrates suffering for his servants for the purpose of stripping us of self-reliance in order that we may trust more fully in Him. In the case of the apostle, and his friends, physical deliverance from actual death threats was provided by God. But even if they had not been delivered, their hope would have remained. Why? Their testimony remains “On him we have set our hope” (v. 10).

The Only Ground of Hope

Hope delivers us from the afflictions that threaten to take the very life out of us because its roots grip to the only sure foundation: God is for us in Jesus Christ (Romans 8:31). Clinging to the promise of the ultimate deliverance that Jesus breathed life into the souls of the suffering apostles so that they were able to press on without human explanation.

Believing—truly believing—that God is for us, not against us, counsels our troubled and fearful souls. It renews our strength, purpose, and desire to live even when the despair that takes hold is so deep that it feels like a sentence of death has been pronounced upon us. Setting one’s hope on God alone; not on the lessening of pain, or the improvement of circumstances is the only ultimate remedy for despair. When we have learned to counsel ourselves with these truths then we will become equipped to comfort others who despair even of life.

Help through Prayer

As I reflect on what, and who, God used to bring me through the darkest valley of mental suffering that I’ve ever experienced, it is those who not only prayed for me, but with me. Therefore, I personally affirm the importance of the apostle’s closing plea: “You also must help us by prayer” (ESV, v. 11). If God has given you the opportunity to help someone experiencing mental suffering, please don’t feel you have to have the answers (many times, there are none). Pray with them. Please, pray with them. Take their hand and walk them into the throne room of God where they will receive grace and mercy in their time of need.

[A version of this post was originally published at the Biblical Counseling Coalition website.]

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