Ten Questions to Ask Yourself Before Confronting a Brother or Sister in Christ

Christian love requires that we must at times confront one another about sin patterns that hinder growth toward spiritual fruitfulness and maturity. However, before we embark on what I like to call “the ministry of confrontation” let’s be ready to ask ourselves some questions.

  1. Have I asked God to search my own heart for hidden, secret sins for which I need to repent? – Psalm 139:23-24
  2. Have I honestly searched my own life to see if I am guilty of the same sin of which I intend to confront my brother/sister? – Matthew 7:3-5
  3. Have I heeded the admonition of Proverbs 18:17, and am I judging rightly, as Jesus directed. Or do I simply have a critical spirit and a judgmental attitude? – John 7:24
  4. Have I prayed for my brother’s/sister’s heart to be tender and receptive to my concern? – Isaiah 57:15
  5. Have I prayed for ears to listen to my brother’s/sister’s words and a heart to listen to the meaning behind his/her words? – James 1:19
  6. Have I recently been reminded of how I myself am also vulnerable to temptation? – Galatians 6:1
  7. Have I recently read Romans 6 & 7 and been reminded of my own wretchedness and desperate need for the gospel and a gracious Savior? – Romans 7:24
  8. Am I willing to be patient and ready to help my brother/sister bear his/her sin burden? – Galatians 6:2
  9. Am I willing to love my brother/sister enough to speak the truth in love? -Ephesians 4:15
  10. Am I now ready to go to him/her in a spirit of gentleness and humility or am I angry and, therefore, more likely to be harsh? – Galatians 6:1

After working through this self-examination checklist, prayerfully proceed with humility and reliance upon the Holy Spirit.

*Originally published July 26, 2011

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