God Is Not Surprised by Postpartum Depression
I didn’t expect to experience postpartum depression after the birth of our third child. Having been through the newborn phase twice before, I wondered why this time was so much harder for me than the others. Disappointment and discouragement seemed to define those newborn weeks. I wasn’t performing like the strong and capable mother I thought I would be.
Maybe you’ve been taken by surprise as well. Perhaps you expected the postpartum phase to go much differently than it has. If that’s the case, your disappointment is understandable. It’s discouraging to feel depressed during such a demanding time. But even though this season is harder than you might have imagined, there is hope. God is not surprised by your postpartum struggles—and that’s really good news.
When you feel overtaken by sorrow in motherhood, it’s good to remember that you are seen and surrounded by God. There are much-needed reminders about this reality in Psalm 139. As the writer marvels at God’s omniscience and omnipresence, at least three relevant applications to the experience of postpartum depression unfold.
God knew this season would be overwhelming for you.
“Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” (Psalm 139:16 ESV)
This verse offers reassurance. God has seen all your days in advance—including the overwhelming ones. This means there’s no postpartum mood swing or meltdown that takes him by surprise. God saw all of them before any of them came to pass! Because “the God who sees” (Genesis 16:13) is also “the Father of mercies” (2 Corinthians 1:3), he’s neither disappointed nor discouraged by your emotional breakdowns. In other words, God wasn’t expecting more or better from you in this season. He foresaw your mood swings. He anticipated your meltdowns. And none of these postpartum struggles sway his love for you in Christ (Romans 8:35, 38–39).
God knew your capacities would be limited.
“My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.” (Psalm 139:15)
Even though we’re prone to forget, God “knows what we are made of, remembering that we are dust” (Psalm 103:14 CSB). If today you feel stretched beyond your limits—if it seems like your physical or mental capacities are completely maxed out—that’s not a sign you’ve failed as a mother. Rather, it’s a reminder that you’re not limitless in the first place. God is not surprised by this, of course. Your capabilities come with boundaries by his design. He knows there will be times when life feels like it’s too hard to handle, because he’s the One who wonderfully wove you together and he knows you, like all people, struggle with weakness (Psalm 139:13–14). In other words, God intended for you to live with limitation. Your dwindling capacities are not a failure or character flaw.
God knew you’d have faith-related questions and doubts.
“You discern my thoughts from afar. . . . Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.” (Psalm 139:2, 4)
“Why?” questions are some of the most difficult ones to wrestle with in postpartum depression. Why do I suffer like this? Why do I feel depressed and unfeeling toward my baby? Why doesn’t God seem to be helping me? If these types of questions harass you today, the Lord is aware. He knows when your heart harbors doubt about his mercy and love (Luke 5:22). This reality can be both comforting and freeing in Christ—it means that God is not surprised by your spiritual wrestling, be it spoken or not. Being conscious of your fears and frustrations, he calls you to cry out to him in worship and truth(Psalm 145:18, John 4:24). In other words, God doesn’t want you to pray in pretense, but to pour out your heart to him because he’s a refuge for you (Psalm 62:8).
The reality that God is not surprised by your postpartum depression can help you take courage. Yes, he saw this season coming, but he also planned your path through it long ago. More than that, Christ knows how much mercy you need to make it through each difficult day. Remember that your dark night of soul is as bright as the noonday to Jesus (Psalm 139:12). It cannot keep him from seeing you or surrounding you with his love (Psalm 32:10 NIV). You can trust that he will not leave you nor lose you to this temporary postpartum darkness (Matthew 28:20, John 18:9). Even here his right hand will lead you and hold you fast (Psalm 139:10).
*The minibook, Postpartum Depression: Hope for a Hard Season, is available here.
This blog post was originally published by New Growth Press. Used by permission.
