12 Pillars of Faith for Parents of Special Needs’ Kids
The society we live in expects life to be trouble-free; there is an assumption that we somehow have a right to an easy life. This mindset is reflected in the answer to a typical question. “What is the number-one question an expectant parent is asked? ‘Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?’ And what is the typical response? ‘It doesn’t matter as long as my baby is healthy.’ That seemingly innocent exchange may reveal a foundational belief that resides in the hearts of many of us—that there are few things worse for a parent than having a child who is not healthy.” [Steve Viars, Your Special Needs Child: Help for Weary Parents].
Sadly, this mindset is not only prevalent in the unregenerate of the world, but also among those who claim to know Christ. Therefore, believers need a theology of disability that both glorifies the Creator and honors the incredible value of every human life. As parents who live in the world of special needs, there are 12 biblical truths that we need to continually meditate upon. These form theological pillars that uphold our faith.
God is sovereign over all (Read Psalm 103:19 and Ephesians 1:11). There is nothing in our lives that falls outside the umbrella of God’s sovereignty. Everything that occurs falls within the counsel of His will. Personal Takeaway: We must release our desire for control.
God is the wise Creator of all—even the disabled (Read Exodus 4:11). Regardless of secondary causes (genetics, injury, Satan’s attacks, etc.), God—the sovereign God—is always the primary cause. As God made clear to Moses in Exodus 4:11, He is never ashamed to take credit for all those who have disabilities. Personal Takeaway: We need to trust His wisdom.
God fashions each child with His purposes in mind (Read Psalm 139:13-17). A common question that parents of disabled children ask is, “Where were you, God, when my child was developing that you did not correct it?” God’s answer is, “I was right there, in the womb, forming that precious boy or girl exactly as I had planned.” The womb is the Divine Artist’s studio. Personal Takeaway: We need to trust God’s good purposes.
God’s ways are good, wise, and kind (Read Psalm 145:17). No matter what man’s definition of “good” is, the ways of the Lord are always good. He always acts in kindness toward His children. Personal Takeaway: We need to believe His Word, not our feelings.
God is not using my special-needs child to punish me for my personal sin (Read John 9:1-3). As was the case with the disciples, built within the fallen human mind is the immediate tendency to form a connection, a cause-and-effect relationship, between suffering and sin (some human being must be blamed!). Granted, all suffering results from sin in the generic sense—from the original sin in the Garden of Eden. However, not all personal suffering is the result of personal sin. There is a massive difference. Personal Takeaway: We need to remember that we live in a fallen world in which we will experience all kinds of suffering until the curse is finally removed when redemption is complete (See Romans 8).
God uses physical and mental disabilities to remind us of our greatest disability: We are all spiritually disabled. Apart from our union with Jesus Christ and the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit:
- We are each blinded (Romans 1:21-23; 2 Corinthians 4:3-4; Ephesians 5:11-12).
- We are each hearing-impaired (Zechariah 7:11-12; Romans 11:8; Isaiah 6:9-10; Hebrews 5:11).
- We are each mentally-disabled (1 Corinthians 2:14; Ephesians 2:3; 4:17-18).
- We are each helpless (Jeremiah 13:23; Romans 5:6-8).
God’s gift of disability is a gracious means of reminding us of our own. If any of us thinks ourselves to be healthy, fully well, and wise then we are deceiving no one except ourselves. We all live in a constant state of desperate need. Personal Takeaway: We need to constantly run to Christ and find our soul’s rest in Him.
God’s grace is sufficient for any trial (Read 2 Corinthians 12:9-10). No matter the trial; no matter the need, the grace of God in Jesus Christ is sufficient to strengthen and sustain those who truly belong to Him. When your 24/7 attentive care leaves you in deep weakness, realize that it is then that God’s strength is perfected. Personal Takeaway: We need to be dependent.
God’s goal is to reshape us into the image of His Son (Read Romans 8:28-30). All things do not work together for good. No, read the verses above, again. It is not that all things somehow work out in the end; it is God who actively works all things together for good. No difficulties–and God means none–escape God’s control. God’s wisdom enables Him to work out any and all suffering and evil toward the end of His glory and the goal of making us like His Son. Our sanctification—becoming like Jesus—is of immense, personal interest to the Lord. Personal Takeaway: We need to be Christ-centered.
God disciplines those whom He loves (Read Hebrews 12:3-13). God only disciplines those who truly belong to Him, but spiritual bastards remain peaceful on their road to destruction. God’s desire for us to become like Christ leads Him to develop a personal training program for each of us. He corrects, guides, and trains us as we need. Suffering is part of His training program. Personal Takeaway: We need to be submissive to God’s training strategy.
God created us with dignity (Read Genesis 1:26). When the triune Godhead held a conference before the world was created, they decided to set man apart from every other created being. We alone possess immense value as God’s image-bearers. Every child, whether “healthy” or “disabled,” is of immeasurable worth in God’s eyes. Personal Takeaway: We need to be thankful for every image-bearer.
God redeemed us to live in community (Read 1 Corinthians 12:14-25; Romans 12:10-11). The church is not like a body; it is a body. It is a living organism with many parts, each of which is of equal importance and value, though prominence of function differs. The church needs the disabled, weaker members, in order to function as God designed. Without the disabled included in church life, to the fullest degree possible for each, the church itself becomes dysfunctional. Personal Takeaway: We who have special needs’ kids need to humble ourselves and let others serve us and our family.
God-ordained suffering for our life in this fallen world is “light” compared to the weight of glory that one-day He will reveal to us (Read Romans 8:18-25; 2 Corinthians 4:17-18). When compared to eternity in the presence of the Creator who became the Savior, all suffering and disability in this life will barely be visible. The brightness of the glory of God will dispel all shadows of doubt. Personal Takeaway: We need to keep our eyes on Jesus and look for the Lord’s return.
May these pillars in a theology of disability be, for us, a comforting and stabilizing foundation for vibrant faith!